The Epic Love Story of Bass and Jo Friday in 3D
by laolurve
Summary: Like the title says, this is  total crack  The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D.  Except not in 3D.  8/16/11 - CHAPTERS 4 & 5 published.
1. Ch 1:  The Whispers

**Title:** The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D**  
>Rating:<strong> PG-13 (for mentions of inter-species love and probably bad tortoise language in future chapters)**  
>Summary: <strong> See title.**  
>Disclaimer: <strong>even if I owned Bass and Jo, I don't think I could actually make any money off them.**  
>Notes: <strong>Yes, this is crack. No, I don't actually ship them. As far as you know.

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><p><strong>The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D<br>Chapter 1: The Whispers**

We hear the whispers, of course we do. That it's wrong. That it's gross. That it goes against nature. That he could be my father (okay, well, not really since he's a tortoise and I'm a dog, but purely based on age he could be my father). That it simply can't work physically...can it? (Let me assure you, it can). That he's a fan of The Warblers and I'm a fan of Brittania and Faberry and surely there isn't a middle ground. That we don't even speak the same language, hell we don't even speak any language. That we better be taking precautions because if we had babies they'd be these strange little reptilio-mammalia-hybrids with hairy shells. Oh, yes, we hear all these whispers, but we don't care.

For what we have...what we have transcends species. Transcends Glee. Transcends limitations. Transcends small minds with small imaginations.

What we have is love.


	2. Ch 2: Love At First Sniff Or Not

**The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D  
>Chapter 2: Love At First Sniff. Or Not<strong>

It wasn't always love. It wasn't, like, love at first sight. Or as *someone* likes to say, love at first sniff.

And well, yeah, that first sniff, a lot like the first meeting, was not great. There was too much going on for our little brains to process, for there's only so much the brain the size of a small tangerine *can* process at one time, am I right or am I right?

Also, I think I was a little overwhelmed. And I think he was a little overwhelmed. Also, I was a bit of a spaz, I can admit it. But then again, so was he. In a totally OMG get away from me kind of way. Because all I tried to do was sniff his rear end. And what does he do? He goes and turtles on me!

That's right, I said you turtled on me – you pulled in your head and legs. That's the expression! To turtle. So, tortoises 'turtle'. Tortoises don't 'tortoise'! I'm sorry but that's the way it is. Don't blame me for the English language!

Anyway, as I was saying, all I tried to do was sniff his rear – it's what my kind does, after all – and he turtled. Not the most auspicious start.


	3. Ch 3: Oh Yeah, Hi  Nice To Meet You

**The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D  
>Chapter 3: Oh yeah, Hi. Nice To Meet You<strong>

You know, I just realized I really haven't even introduced us. See, I'm Jo. Jo Friday. Jo Friday Rizzoli. *arf arf!* *wags tail* I'm a dog (a very cute one at that, thankyouverymuch!). Jane Rizzoli is my human.

That over there is Bass. Bass Isles. He's a tortoise (not a turtle, he's very sensitive about... yes you are, don't even try to pretend you're not). And he'd like me to also point out that he is not a group of islands in French Polynesia, though he admits his name is strikingly similar. Oh, Bass, you do make me laugh. Also, his human is Maura Isles.

So, that's who we are, Jo Friday Dog and Tortoise Isles.

And I have to apologize for the short chapters. See, Bass is the one typing since I can't read or write – yet! Bass is teaching me. But for now, I'm dictating and Bass is typing. And, well, it's slow going as you might imaging. His nose is amazingly dexterous (that's a word he came up with; I was going to say amazingly good at hitting the right keys) but it takes a while. And it's tiring.

Speaking of tiring. Time to take another break.

Oh, and while I've got lots to tell you about us in future chapters, feel free to ask anything about us or our humans or our living arrangements or anything! We're an open book!


	4. Ch 4: I'll Sleep With The Humans

**The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D  
>Chapter 4: Given The Choice, I'll Sleep With The Humans<strong>

Well thank you for those nice little notes that have been left so far. And Leslie, those are great questions; living arrangements is definitely a topic that we will tell you about. As you have indicated, it can sometimes be a challenge! But, you might have noticed that it's gotten easier lately what with all the time my human spends at Bass' human's place. But I'll answer that more fully in coming chapters.

For right now, I do want to continue the story of how we fell in love.

After that first meeting, after he turtled, I just shrugged and then happily curled up with the humans. See, for the first several years of my life, curling up with humans in a warm comfortable bed was not in the cards. I was always cold and wet and outside. So, though this strange new creature my human kept calling a turtle and Maura kept calling a tortoise was interesting and I was curious, given the choice between sniffing each of Bass' holes (ooo, sorry, that sounded dirty…I meant arm and head holes in his shell) and curling up in a big bed with the humans, the choice was easy.

But, as it turns out, I wouldn't always be welcome in the humans' bed. And also as it turns out, that turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me.


	5. Ch 4: One Of The Best Things

**The Amazing Epic Love Story of Bass Isles and Jo Friday Rizzoli in 3D  
>Chapter 5: One Of The Best Things<strong>

I didn't see Bass a lot after that. On and off I'd see him. My human would frequently have dinner at Maura's and I'd get taken along. Most times I'd just see Bass off in the corner sitting on a book. I would go over and sniff the book to see what was so interesting about it but Bass would just give me this look. I would nudge him with my nose but he'd just sit on that book.

How boring, I thought! But whatever, time to curl up with the humans!

Until one night…well one night the humans didn't just fall asleep, they were, well to be frank they were kissing. This was new! And, honestly, it was about time! I lifted my head and barked to show my approval.

I guess that wasn't the right thing to do for they both jerked away from each other then giggled. (Later when I told Bass his human giggled, he didn't believe me, but I assured him she did). Anyway, Jane then picked me up and put me in the hall saying just before she shut the door in my face, "Sorry Jo! Tonight is not for innocent little doggie eyes to see."

"Arf!" I said! (translation, my eyes might be little and they might be doggie, but they really aren't that innocent). Alas, my Arf fell on deaf ears. So I had to find something else to do. I wandered into the living room. And there was Bass, sitting on his book.


End file.
